The Andy Andrews Law of Inverse Proportion

"How fast the gas pump is pumping gas is inversely proportional to how fast I have to go to the restroom."

"The darker things are, the brighter the light."

"The more free time I have, the less I get accomplished."

"O.K. let me rephrase that correctly..."The brightness of the light is inversely proportional to how dark it is.""

"The amount of the national debt is inversely proportional to how much money couponers save. The White House should start using coupons."

"I have a funny example for the first inversely proportional activity.
Cracker Barrel is a place my wife enjoys going for the great food and fun gift store.

Last time we went they had on the menu Sweet Potato Pancakes. My wife ordered them for dinner and fell in love with the great taste, she did not even use any syrup on them. She took two of the four cakes home and enjoyed one at 2am and the other for breakfast. She said they were the best pancakes she ever had in her life,

Couple of days later she wanted to have breakfast of course she couldn't resist satisfying her new found craving.

So we went back to Cracker Barrel
with her best friend in tow to dig in to another batch. She open the menu and notice the insert had changed but she forged on with her quest and politely order the Sweet Potato Pancakes.

The waitress said she was sorry but those pancakes were seasonal and they are no longer on the menu. What! what season changed since Tuesday was my wifes reply.

Unfortunately hearing we are out of a menu item when my wife orders at a restaurant happens quite often to her, I am fighting back the laughter so not to hurt her feelings, because she shared the story about how wonderful these pancakes were with everyone who would listen all week long.

Another waitress came up behind our waitress to tell us to contact Cracker Barrel and express our disapointment because they all loved them too!

So now she is sharing a new story with all of her friends that is not as flatering for CB.

My wife did contact the home office to the suggestion of the waitress at our location, i guess we will have to wait for another season to change here in AZ."

"When driving,how slowly my lane is moving is inversely proportional to how fast the lane that I just left because it was slow is now moving."

"I am amazed how good I feel, just when my wife feels her worst. then when see is feeilng great I am not so well."

"The number of red lights I encounter is inversely proportional to how fast I must drive somewhere.

The length of a movie is inversely proportional to the size of my popcorn.

The hours in a day is inversely proportional to my "to do" list."

"How fast the day goes when you are happy is inversely proportional to how slow the day goes when you are sad."

"Days when I have extra time to get to work, traffic snarls and crawls to make me late; days when I'm running late, I sail through and arrive on time!"

"I have noticed that the TV series that I really like manages to get cancelled for the next year."

"Why is fast food rarely delivered fast? Why is the order often wrong?"

"How much I would like to buy versus how much money I have available."

"How much "attention" my kids need is inversely proportional to how much time I've set aside for a special project or "me" time."

"It is my goal to keep my britches from being inversely proportional to what I must place in them after the holidays."

"The more perfect the gift is for someone, the greater the chance that the one I choose will malfunction as soon as it's opened!"

"Buying a product to replace the one we lost is inversely proportional to finding the lost object the minute we get home with the new one."

"The amount of times in the day the phone rings is inversely proportional to how tired I am and trying to take a nap!"

"After a hard days work, how exited I am to see my family is inversely proportionate to how exhausted they are. It's the "It's a wonderful life" fantasy syndrome."

"Amazed at how short the time is between when a woman can tell you that she will love you forever and the time until your name in mouth sounds like the voice of Satan."

"The old I get and the more I want to enjoy every minute the faster time rushes by."

"How well my radio comes in at any given time is inversely proportionate to how well I like the song that's playing (static must like the same songs I do...)"

"Karen Z. my experience is the opposite. If I have plenty of time to get to work no slow poke ever gets in front of me to slow me down. But even if I am just a few minutes late, a car will be in front going under the sped limit and then I am really late!"

"The Blessings God bestows upon me are inversely proportionate to the blessings I could ever possibly bestow on others!"

"Getting my kids to get in the bath/shower already is inversely proportionate to begging them to get out of the pool already ..."

"How busy I get at work is inversely proportional to how many of my co workers take off."

""The number of pages I can read is inversely proportional to how sleepy and tired I am.""

"When I get up early I have time to get alot of things done but then am late for work inversely proportional when I get up on time I have no problem getting to work on time."

"The temperature in our office is inversely proportional to the amount of clothes I wear to work that I am unable to take off/add too!"

"I am not sure if this counts or not. But prior to reading your post, I had just written in my journal: "Why is it easier to be negative versus positive, to be critical verstus supportive, to tell you what you do wrong versus what you do right? Why is our brain designed to respond to praise (input) yet deliver rejection (output)?" More of a conundrum than an inversion I suppose, but still something to reflect upon..."

"The way I respond to others (neural downshifting) is often inversely proportional to the what motivates me to pay attention (conscious attention)."

"The need to go to the bathroom is inversly proportional to the number of red lights you will encounter. :)"

"Going to the store ,wall mart, grocery,etc, and trying to find a parking lace reasonably close to the entrance. After circling several rows several times you settle on a spot waaaay down at the end. As you trek back from the other end of the parking lot three cars pull out from spaces close to the store."

"Me~~ finally ready to relax on the sofa, snuggling with a blanket, remote in hand ready to watch my shows is inversely proportional to my dogs~~ finally ready to go outdoors to potty and play with the creatures of the night."

"I am "staff" ... where I work there are 3 staff to 6 attorneys, the number of staff missing is inversely [dis]proportional to the number of documents that need to be filed with the court that day [typically squared, times 3].

The number of projects that need to be completed on Saturday is inversly proportional to the number of hours I'd like to sleep in."